Tonight was Julia's last "nunnie" or nursing session. A few months ago we weaned down to just naptime and bedtime, and for a long time that worked really well. I got fed up with it when she wanted to nurse all the time, but it served a huge function at those times, calming her down and helping sleep come easily. Facing surgery, I realized that things will be forced to change. I will be apart from her for the days I'm in the hospital and after that, I will be in too much pain to let her near to my stomach, such that nursing requires. I won't be able to take a accidental kick or nudge, not to mention all the drugs that will be circulating my body and transmitting through the milk. I decided that I'd give her two day's notice, since she can understand the idea of tomorrow, telling her yesterday that tomorrow would be the last day for nunnies. I explained why too, that mommy had an owie deep in her tummy and that I'd be going to stay with doctors for a few days while they helped it get better. I told her that Daddy and Grandpoppa Jack would be with her while I was gone, then after awhile Grandma Gini would come, and after that, Grandmomma Dawn. She observed that I'd need some bandaids to help me feel better. I reminded her often that tomorrow's nunnie would be the last one, and reminded her again today. I decided on today as the last day because I want her to have sunday and monday to adjust before I leave on tuesday. I didn't want to just leave for awhile and then tell her "sorry, no nunnies" when I came back because I think it will be hard enough for her to understand that I won't be able to help her with things for a long time. We talked a bit about if she'd be sad not to have them anymore ("yes") and what we could do instead, like rocking in the chair, singing songs, reading books, giving hugs. She seemed ok with that. I asked her what nunnies tasted like, ("Purple. And pink.") and when we were done, we said byebye and thank you to the nunnies and she got in bed and went to sleep like she always does.
|rocking out with Olaf, making Grandpoppa's birthday cake|
|watching some saturday morning West Wing with Daddy|
|going for a "buffalo ride"|
|and just in case you were curious about what a grapefruit sized tumor looks like from the outside, here I am laying down sucking my stomach in! I can't button my pants anymore and am considering digging out the maternity jeans.|